"oh what a tangled interweb we weave..."

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Guinness Word Record

I want to break a Guinness World Record!!

I am not sure what, which, how, where…any details actually…I just want to be in the Guinness World Record book!! And have my name come up next to my event as something someone has to beat in order to take the title away from me!! How exciting!!

I am VERY competitive!!

So, I have to somehow figure out how to do this. All through my life I have always had this weird personality competitive tomboy thing – it wasn’t ever enough to be good at something, no no no, I had to be the best…and not just the best in the family, but the best among anyone and everyone!! Yeah, it can get out of hand sometimes but this passion and drive I consider an asset too. I mean, for instance, it got me to be a great alpine ski racer who was once on the National Greek Ski Team. It got me to be better at ping pong since our family hosts an annual summer intense ping pong tournament (have got close but one day I will have my name on that cup!!). It got me to learn and solve the Rubik’s cube in just over a minute because my boyfriend was the World Speed Cubing Champion (no joke!!). I have “Rubik’s Cube” listed on my acting resume!! It definitely helps with line memorization and drive for all my acting roles. And, of course at the gym (biggest loser!!).

I do tend though to make EVERYTHING into some sort of competition (vocally or not!!). I admit that IT can rule me sometimes instead of me ruling IT. A couple of years ago my friends came to visit me in Greece and instead of just doing some food and drinking games, it became a Decathlon Event!! And crazy – Who can eat four huge gyro pita souvlaki’s the fastest (one rule was if any food dropped on the ground outside you still had to eat it…who do you think incorporated that rule!! Yup, me!!), Who can down a bottled beer with a straw the fastest (this is called a Fission thanks to my Belgium friends…btw, I won this event but had beer all down my dress and looked like an idiot – anything for the Gold!!).

As you can see, I can take it too far and can get into the mind frame where I can’t stop and say “enough is enough”. Back in college I was seeing this guy who was a senior and graduating in like a month and instead of relishing our last days together I turned our sex life public and decided that we HAD to have sex in every public building on campus before graduation!! And there were like over 40 buildings!! And, of course I enforced further obstacles in place like no toilets, no rooms that locked, if we got caught it was over, and one of us had to reach orgasm each time!!...TMI…ummm! The point is, it was an innocent drunken idea one night that suddenly became enforced by me so much so that it became a chore and not romantic at all…just to win that title. I mean, I look back and remember the poor guy rolling over in bed and wanting to make love and me standing up immediately shouting “hold it, quickly, let’s go to so-and-so building and do it there”.

I sound insane. I was insane. But you know what’s funny? I went back one year to my college for a friend’s graduation who was years below me and some random freshman that I had never met before came up to me and asked if I was Zoe, Zoe Anastassiou, and when I said yes, he got really excited and said he was so honored to be meeting the girl who had the title of having sex in every public building on campus!! It was like a red carpet moment!! HAHA!! And, I loved it!! I was also thrilled since I still had the title!! Granted, he also wanted to know whether I wanted to have sex with him in the new library as it was a new public building since I had left, but still, at that moment all the crazy competition of it made it worth it!!

So, I can’t exactly break or create the Guinness World Record of Sex in Public Places…or can I? I wanted back in the day to break the longest kiss record because I looked it up and realized that then it was only 30 hours and 45 minutes – and for some odd reason that felt do-able or at least a lesser number than I expected – so I started planning – I even wrote and directed a short play called “30 Hours and 46 Minutes” where I had poor actors on stage wearing adult diapers! But, I had thought it all out enough to write about it. Alas, I didn’t ever try it. I realized it was way harder than I thought – holding a kiss just for a minute felt like forever!!

So…I need something new, something, anything, that will get me into that Guinness World Record book! I do have a whole list of possibilities but am open to suggestions.

Any ideas anyone?

1 comment:

  1. How about most liquid haribo ingested by injection? Or not.

    Ummm.. that was the first thing that came to mind. Longest viewing marathon of a single tv series? It's an excuse to sit in front of Friends for a week or so.

    Longest streak - from new york to california, nekked as the day you were born.